Christy DeWitt has an impressive amount of experience as a military spouse. She and her husband, Kevin, celebrated their 30^th anniversary in July of last year, and Kevin retired from active-duty service in 2020. Given all that time spent with the United States Marine Corps, Christy sounds almost embarrassed when she admits that in her family “only” moved nine times. “We might not have moved as much as many military families, but I’ve loved every place we’ve ever lived,” she says.

A pastor’s daughter, Christy met Kevin at church where her dad was Kevin’s pastor. “I actually tried to set Kevin up with my little sister,” she confesses, but things worked out for the best. Having spent her childhood in Texas as a preacher’s child, Christy readily admits that she had no idea what she was signing on for when she married her Marine. “I knew nothing! Before becoming a military spouse, though, I did all the research I could. I tried to get the jargon down. As a new spouse, if there was a seminar, class, or anything available where I could learn, I took it,” she says. Christy credits her time as a military spouse for teaching her so many things, but mainly how much she’s capable of doing on her own. “I really had a chance to build my confidence, my self-advocacy,” she says. “Through deployments, TDYs, etc., I learned we’re more resilient than we give ourselves credit for.”

That resiliency has stood her well as she raised three children while Kevin was active duty, endured two deployments over a year, and co-founded the military-centric jewelry company Nomadés 14 years ago with other like-minded military spouses. “Things have come so far for military spouses in the last 23 years,” Christy reflects. “I was a stay-at-home mom. I always volunteered. I even tried to go back to college twice. All those experiences I had because I was a military spouse are what gave me the experience and the confidence I needed for Nomadés. I am excited for today’s military spouse, for the options they have through companies like Powerhouse and organizations like Blue Star Families. We have a long way to go, but these changes are so positive.”

Christy can’t remember a duty station she hasn’t loved. “I know all these people who talk about how they didn’t like this place or that place, but for me it was always a chance to live a new experience. For me, I looked first for a church family. Once I found that, everything else would fall into place. I could look for what I could do and where I could make a difference,” she says. Still, for the sheer experience alone, Christy names Okinawa as her favorite duty station. “I was far enough into my military life that it didn’t feel new. I didn’t feel like I was still learning how to be a military spouse, so I could enjoy it,” she says. “We made great friends and got to travel to places like China, Guam, mainland Japan, and Hawaii. And it’s where we were when 9/11 happened.” While the tragedy was certainly difficult for everyone, when Christy reflects on that time, the togetherness and sense of purpose she felt from everyone provided a bond of support and love.

We all know that military life can be hard. “There are times when your spouse’s job comes first,” Christy says. “You don’t have to like it, but I encourage military spouses to be supportive, even if it’s irritating. Go to the coffee shop and rail, alone or to friends, but support your spouse. Complaining won’t change it.” And she offers some old-school advice for deployments: Write your spouse handwritten letters. “Kevin and I have every letter we’ve ever written to each other through deployments,” she says. “My father-in-law passed two years ago, and my mother-in-law had all the letters they’d written to each other when he was deployed. It was so special to Kevin to be able to read those parts where his dad was asking about his little boy and talking about how much he missed him. They’re tangible memories in a way texts and emails just aren’t.”

She also encourages military spouses to keep family contacts strong. “As often as I could, I tried to be with grandparents, whether they visited us or we visited them. It helps that our parents are friends and more often than not our families do things together. Our kids don’t even really realize that their cousins from my side of the family aren’t cousins with Kevin’s side of the family!” she says. Traditions, especially holidays, might look different from year to year for military families, but family remains an important connection that is worth nurturing.

Go to the classes, Christy suggests. Go to seminars, to anything where people come together where you are, especially if they’re events where local resources show you what your home-for-now place has to offer. “The military is doing a lot better at having local resources available,” she says. Making connections like these are what led Christy to some of her best friends and people she’s kept in contact with, even before social media sites like Facebook were available.

Christy’s military spouse motto? “We didn’t, in fact, know what we signed up for!” she says with a laugh, referring to an idea that military spouses know what they’re getting into when they marry a military member. “I had no clue what I was signing up for all those years ago,” she says, but she wouldn’t trade the experience for the world.

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I’ll admit it. I’m a mixed-breed career woman/military spouse. When first meeting someone, I always stumble to state my roles in life quickly and concisely. In short, I’m a full-time stay-at-home mom/wife and a full-time CEO. (Please go ahead and pick your jaw up off the floor.) Then I usually get a, “Bless your heart—how do you balance it all?” I almost always have a snarky comment like, “Wine and Jesus.” Truth be told, I’ve been processing how I do it, and it boils down to this: I’m a non-traditional CEO.

Allow me to explain.

I don’t hustle.
Over the past few years I’ve read article after article about “hustling to succeed.” Let me tell you, the only hustle I do is at 8:45 a.m. Monday-Friday to get my three kiddos to the bus stop. To me, if I’m “hustling” in my business, then I didn’t plan appropriately. I don’t want to work in chaos. I like order, plans, and processes. So, I’m not a CEO you’ll find hustling to drum up work.

I don’t set goals.
I’m an Enneagram 3 and I’ve learned that if I set goals then I will set out to achieve them. However, over the years I have decided I no longer want to be goal-driven. I’ve started measuring success by the impact we are making for our clients, team members, and our world.

I sat out the conference season (again).
This is the time of year when you start seeing conference picture after conference picture and fellow CEOs begin receiving award after award. In this season of life, that’s not me. In fact, I haven’t been to a conference in more than 6 years. I’ve chosen being present with my family over attending large-scale networking opportunities. I know there will be a time when I’m going to have that professional flexibility again, but I also know the years with my kids are going by fast, and I can’t miss this stage of life that only comes around once. So, I cheer from afar for my CEO counterparts and stand proudly at home, growing a company.

I rethought my approach to networking.
Bus stop. Playdates. School holiday events. Local events. That’s how I “work it” these days. For years I thought I needed to attend any and every professional event I could find to build leads. Then I realized that the more I made legit friendships the more people learned about my company, and that turned into business opportunities. Simple conversations on the go have turned into profitable contracts. It didn’t require me to get all fancied up or spend a mint on airfare and hotels. It took me chatting, getting to know someone, and speaking about my company (and their needs) when the time was right.

I keep politics out of my social media posts.
I don’t take a public stance on my political position via social media. I welcome the opportunity to chat face-to-face with anyone about my beliefs regarding religion, politics, etc. My personal and professional social media feeds will continue to be pics of my family and furry pets, primarily because I want to work with diverse clientele. I don’t want to work with people who are just like me; I want to learn from others. I believe that when you start sharing your beliefs as the best (and only) option out there, then you lose opportunities to learn from others. And, to me, that’s potentially lost goodness I could’ve had in my life.

I am transparent on social media.
I have two social media pages. I have my personal page and my business page. I’ve noticed over the years many CEOs opt to have a personal page and then a separate personal page that’s only used to show their professional side. #1, This mama ain’t got time for that. #2, I am who I am. I want to be transparent. If my personal life is so crazy that I can’t show everyone “who I am,” then in my mind I’ve stepped away from who I aim to be.

I created a non-traditional corporate culture.
I strive to prioritize my life in the following order: faith, family, career. I encourage this daily at our company. In the beginning, I remember people would be worried to tell me they had to go on vacation for five days and they’d make sure to bring their computer. My answer was (and still is), “Heck to the no.” We need breaks. We need to feed our souls. We’ve implemented policies where team members cover other members so they can step away.

I’m not striving to be rich—I’m striving to do good.
If I die and have grown a company that’s insanely successful, but I have a ton of money just sitting in the bank, then I’ve failed with how I define success. I’m human; therefore, I enjoy nice things. But I also know I’m crazy privileged, and that means as our company grows, we need to share. If I’m not giving more as I continue to gain more, then to me, that’s failing. I want us to “Share the Goodness.” At my company, Powerhouse Planning, we support local and international efforts that give back to our world through our Share the Goodness initiative. We’ve done simple things like race sponsorships, and we also engage in large-scale efforts like sponsoring a child monthly so she has food, shelter, and an opportunity to receive an education.

So that’s me.

I know I’m different, and I know many people will tell me I’m sipping on crazy juice. That’s okay, because I’m me and you’re you. But for those of you out there thinking you have to hustle and kill yourself on your way to success, look at your season of life. Look at the season of your company. Start to embrace and celebrate your ideal image of what a successful CEO looks like.

So go onward. You be you, and I’ll be me—and we can all just be proud of how we find success.

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Jessica Bertsch is a proud Coastie wife and mom of a 12-year-old son, 9-year-old daughter, and 7-year-old daughter. In her “spare” time she runs Powerhouse Planning, LLC, www.powerhouseplanning.com.