Showing Up
“Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen.”
– Brené Brown
By: Nicole Keeny
Jennifer Hacker lives her life in vulnerable spaces. As a life coach and grief specialist, Jennifer walks hand in hand with those who need to be seen—in their grief, in their challenges, in their darkest moments. Because if anyone knows the landscape of grief, has seen the darkness of it deeply, has felt its sharp edges with her fingers, it is Jennifer herself.
As the owner and founder of her own private coaching company and the founder of a nonprofit organization, Jennifer spends her time immersed in coaching individuals who are dealing with some of the toughest parts of their lives, not only because she cares deeply for her clients but also because she herself has been there. “I help people in grief heal and transform their lives after loss—to let go of their pain without letting go of their connection to their loved one. And I know a lot of people in grief kind of push back on that because they don’t think that’s possible. But I know from experience that it is,” Jennifer says.
Jennifer has not always worked in this arena. “I was a CEO and CFO of a construction company, so I basically ran the whole place except for the crew. While I worked for that company, that was when my son passed away in 2003,” she says. “Life was just totally different. There’s the before and there’s the after, and I had to go figure out how to live in the after.”
In the wake of losing her three-month-old son, Jennifer came face to face with a realization. “My business job was not going to satisfy me or my new passion or my new interests, so that’s what set me off on this path,” she says. She admits that her initial approach to her nonprofit and her business may have been a bit unconventional. “First, I actually started a nonprofit organization, which is totally backwards because you’d think the coaching would come first. But I was just so called to help women going through all of the most difficult things alone. So, I started a nonprofit organization because I was like, ‘I’m going to help these ladies. I just don’t know how.’ And then I figured out the how. I went to get my certification to be a life coach, and that was what made me go, ‘This is what I was born to do and now I know how,’” Jennifer says.
Her process may have been “backward” by business standards, but it was born out of a heart of vulnerability and true compassion. “I knew in my heart I had to help women going through all this stuff in life. And they can’t afford it. Even if they have insurance, they can’t afford the copay. There’s no help like this for people who don’t have good financial income,” Jennifer says. Thus, The Center for Help and Hope was born. The nonprofit supports women in major life transitions and challenges—including grief and loss, unemployment, separation, divorce, parenting, and single parenting—by providing life and grief coaching at a significantly reduced rate, with the nonprofit paying the difference.
In addition to single-handedly running a nonprofit and raising her kids as a single mom, Jennifer started her own private coaching company, Transformations Coaching and Consulting. “In Transformations, I personally focus on working in the grief area, but I do still have clients who have relationship or career issues, so we tackle everything,” she says.
Based out of San Antonio, Texas, Jennifer initially met with all her clients face to face. But then 2020 arrived. “The pandemic changed everything. I was totally in person before that. Because of the pandemic, I had to go totally remote, and now I have both [in-person and remote clients],” she says. Not that Jennifer was opposed to working with clients remotely before the pandemic. She says, “I actually had a coach . . . in California I met through a training, and I got coached and we were just over the phone. We weren’t even seeing each other. But it’s amazing how effective that is. Just a verbal—hearing a person’s voice—was enough to get a lot of good work done.”
When it comes to a business and a nonprofit focused on personal coaching through huge life challenges, however, some people are skeptical about engaging remotely. “There are still people who have the mindset that I had years ago that it’s just not going to work, it’s not personal enough, I don’t think that I’m going to be able to get to know you or that you’re going to be able to understand, especially with nonverbals. Because if you’re just on the phone especially, people think that you won’t be able to know what’s going on. But you really can,” Jennifer says.
But Jennifer meets these objections, too, with her compassionate vulnerability. She says, “I tell my personal experience. I say, ‘I had the same objections and I really felt that same way. And then it only took one meeting for me to change my mind.’”
When initially meeting with remote clients, those first few minutes can be uncomfortable, according to Jennifer, so questions are key to help break the ice. “Once they agree to talk,” she says, “it doesn’t take very long for people to engage when you’re fully focused on them, and you start asking them about their life. All it takes is that one little bit, a couple of questions, and you’re off and running.” She goes on to say, “I like to leave [those opening questions] very vague and open, totally broad, so whatever they want to talk about comes out. If you get specific, well, then they’re stuck. I might say, ‘What’s coming up for you today?’ That’s a good broad one because then they can just be in the moment. Another really good question is . . . ‘If you had a magic wand and you could have what you want within the next year, what would your life look like?’ Because then they really start dreaming about where they want to go, and that’s very helpful before we get into [what’s holding them] back.”
As she coaches clients, Jennifer meets them where they are. She notes that some clients prefer to meet via phone so it’s audio only; then, there are those who want face-to-face interaction, so Jennifer meets with them through Zoom or FaceTime. She also engages clients through her text message service, Transform Your Life After Loss® Pocket Grief Support, and through the Voxer app, allowing Jennifer and her client to chat on-demand throughout the day, walkie-talkie style. In addition, Jennifer sends out regular emails, full of her care and encouragement, to clients and followers as they walk through grief and struggles of all kinds, and she is in the process of developing two digital courses to help those dealing with grief process on their own schedule. Bottom line? Jennifer shows up.
While managing both a nonprofit and a business simultaneously is rife with challenges, Jennifer cannot imagine doing anything else, and she knows many other entrepreneurs feel the same way. “You have to be ready and willing to work a lot,” she says. “I should have started subbing out work sooner because I didn’t start doing that until last year. It really is too much work for one person, especially with two companies. And with the nonprofit especially, I was so super careful about those funds . . . so I didn’t pay anyone for anything—ever. And then I got Powerhouse. If you can find a Powerhouse, then pay the money because there’s only so much that one person can do.”
Bringing in support can lighten the load and provide some margin to connect more with current and potential clients. Jennifer holds that building these connections with people is key to growing her reach. “In my type of work, it’s just going out into the world, and telling people what I do, and meeting people. And not to sell my services but just to let people get to know me, and then we see if there’s a jumping off point from there. But it’s really just being in the world and interacting with people and honestly being there as a support to them before they’re even a client,” she says. “You just show up in the world as yourself and give to the people who cross your path, and many of those people become clients.” Because what people need is someone who shows up—in vulnerability—no matter where that may be.
Find Jennifer Hacker online at transformations-cc.com, on Instagram @jennifer.hacker.llc, and on Facebook @transformationscc.
Interested in learning more about how Powerhouse can lighten your load and give you the support you need in running your small business? Email us today at [email protected] and let us show up for you.
